🎄 Christmas, Coca-Cola, and the Season of Buying Sh*t We Don’t Need 🎄

Let’s clear something up before the eggnog kicks into full Yuletide Ethanol Exposure.

Santa didn’t always look like the jolly, diabetic enhanced, red-suited icon we know today.

That version? He was polished, standardized, and mass-marketed by Coca-Cola in the 1930s. Before that, Santa bounced between skinny, spooky, brown-robed, green-coated, elf-ish, and occasionally terrifying depending on the culture and century.

Then along came shit-tons of sugary beverages and mass marketing, and suddenly Santa became a bloated mirror of modern excess—round, red, overfed, and permanently stuck in a loop of consumption he never asked for.

Somewhere between the sixth box of “holiday treats” and the last forced smile, the folklore got buried under calories, commercials, and carts full of crap we didn’t need.

Coke didn’t invent Santa—but they absolutely branded the hell out of him.
Red suit. White trim. Warm smile. Always holding a Coke like hydration was part of the North Pole OSHA plan.

And once that door opened?
Boom 💥
• Matching pajamas
• Elf on the Shelf (a corporate narc)
• $300 inflatables
• Stress-shopping disguised as “tradition”
• And the belief that love is measured by receipts

Welcome to the Silly Consumer Season™.

So yes—if you’re feeling overwhelmed, annoyed, broke, nostalgic, lonely, or all of the above—you’re not broken. You’re just human in December.